Thursday, August 2, 2012

It Was Just A Paper Bag...

Mark bought us tickets to the Fiona Apple concert at the Palladium last Sunday as a birthday gift to himself. Even though I was somewhat obsessed with When the Pawn... back in college, I wasn't really all that excited beforehand because I hadn't really listened to her new album. I suppose really though it was hard thinking about how much I used to associate with her lyrics, being so beautiful but so deeply sad, and thinking about how sad I used to be. The show was good though.

And yeah, I may have nearly shed a tear or two when she started singing "Paper Bag." As a total nerd with extreme bouts of self-loathing and insecurity, it was totally my constantly repeating on the iPod self-defeating anthem that stated more beautifully than I could express all of my feelings at the time-how I would never find anyone who would love me with all my inner craziness and fun thoughts like that. What can I say-I used to really like wallowing in my unhappiness. Of course, now I know that we're all crazy and it's just about finding someone whose weirdness and quirks can tolerate and love your own. Still, even if the words of the song don't match how I feel anymore, remembering how much they meant to me then was moving enough and made me quite happy not to feel that way anymore.

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